Letters To No One
by flyingpurplemoocow
Summary: Humourous letters from 3 infamous Hogwarts ladies
1. Lily Evans

Dear No One,

God, I need a diary. James is infuriating me so much! Can't he just get over that I will never, I mean NEVER go out with him. Come on, like what if I did? All he'd ever talk about would be himself! God he's so conceded! He picks on Snape and he doesn't do anything to him! So, what if he's a Slytherin? Big deal, not every wizard has to come out evil from there.

People have choices, they choose they're own path right? Like Petunia, she chose never to get over herself and married that oaf of a man Dursley. Petunia Dursley, has a sort of a ring to it doesn't it? I actually felt sorry for her, when I saw him. He's just so ugly and fat. shivers Gross if you ask me. If that's all she can get, she needs to really get a make over or something. Anyways, I don't understand why James likes me anyways, I'm not pretty! I'm not like one of those bimbo's you see waltzing around. I bet you're shaking your head right now, what! I'm not pretty. I think every one who thinks I am is crazy or they're seeing things. Like one time I drank so much butter beer I thought Remus was my Grandma.

Seriously, that was actually...my fourth year Christmas. Ha ha! Well, back to why James is infuriating me! Do you know what he did today? He asked out that Slytherin beotch Rosier. God I hate that girl! No I am not jealous of her! Why do people keep saying that? Let James do what he wants he's a big boy! Come on, like I'd ever actually fall for James Potter. I'm serious, and a klutz, he's a goofball and pretty damn popular if you ask me.

Thank god O.W.L.s are over with, but now I have to worry about N.E.W.T.s. At least I'm in my sixth year, so I have a whole year and then some for remembering stuff. Why did I have to get back into potions? It's nice to be called smart, but I didn't want to go back to potions! It's boring and stupid. Why won't the teachers just face it? None of us are ever going to have that special gift in potions! Except for maybe Snape, he's quite brilliant when it comes to potions.

Jena is driving me crazy, she says I should just go out with him and see if he's really all that bad. She's smarter than me and I know he is that bad! He's just- grrr! I've got to finish this essay for Binns. Why won't he just go off and die? He's boring enough! It's sort of gross how old he looks. You can just see all the wrinkles and his skin is just hanging off of him. shivers Now I have to go, James is bugging me to read this. rolls eyes

To anyone who finds this, I'm sorry but you will be bald with in a week ( Watch Sirius loose his precious hair HA!)

Lily Evans


	2. Ginny Weasley

Dear No One,

So what, I gave up on Harry big deal! What is it with Ron? Just because Harry's famous, handsome, has brilliant green eyes... I mean it doesn't mean I'm all of a sudden going to fall for him. Yeah, it worked once ,but it's not going to work again.

Dean's great, he's simple, funny, plain, blain, vanilla, face it he's just plain boring. There are no fireworks when we kiss. There's NOTHING! Michael at least had a flicker, but I always knew he had his eyes wide open. God how stupid can one girl be? I don't like Harry that way anymore... Ok maybe I do but I can't tell Hermione she'd tell Ron or even HARRY! What would he make of me then? Harry would probably pity me and ask me out, Ron would probably be right behind him forcing him to date me!

I wish I was in my 7th year already, it's hard enough with OWLS coming up, but with this twist in my life what am I supposed to do? Whine, that's all I can do right now is whine. I'm finally acting normal around him! I can't screw that up. Dean and mine relationship is steady, that's what I need right now something smooth and steady. If I were to go out with Harry, that would be like that muggle roller coaster. Why? Harry has been so depressed since Sirius, you know, died. It hurts me to think about him, too, but I know Harry is hurting the worst of us all. Plus, trouble seems to be drawn to The-Boy-Who-Lived Potter.

Remember, Ginny Weasley, you can NOT fall for Harry James Potter this year, you have OWLS and you need something steady, like Dean. You have enough stuff on your shoulders without a depressed boyfriend to take care of. Some people might find this hilarious! This is all so confusing, I should be studying right now, but I just had to write it down some where and no way I am touching a diary ever again.

I still have a phobia of those things, that Tom Riddle guy sure scared the pee out of me. Well, not really, he more made me kill chickens. To bad he didn't make me kill Malfoy. Man he's hot, I mean he's take-me-off-a-piece-of-that hot, but still he's my cousin and I hate him! Still, put him in leather, it wouldn't be that half bad you know. How did I go from whining about my love life, to how hot Malfoy is? Anyways, the fire is almost going out, that's odd, where's Dobby?

Oh well, must have to many hats on, must take him a long time to get up here with those on. Well, there he is sitting in a chair by the fireplace. I guess he thinks every one has gone. Oh shit his crying! What is he staring at? Oh god, I really should just leave him alone. I'm sleepy anyways.

To anyone who finds this, I'm sorry but there's a cruse on it. You'll be completely bald within the next week. I love you anyways, but this is for me and me only. (Watch Ron be bald by then end of next week HA!)

Ginny Weasley


	3. Hermione Granger

Dear No One,

Oh gosh, I have to get Harry and Ron's schedules done really soon. I know they don't care as much as I do about their academic success but come on, how much can I do for them. It's as if I'm their mother for god's sake! Then Ron, what is with Ron? What's wrong with me being pen pals with Krum? I can't take his immature behavior! Do you know what I really can't take? I can't take that every one expects me know how to know everything! I know I'm smart, but come on how much can I take of "Hermione can you help me with this?" "Hey, Herm. Do you know the answer to number four?" "Hermione, what's this potion made of?" "Do you stir it to the right or left at first?" Honestly, you think some people would have the decency to repay the favor. Harry and Ron have more than once, but what has everyone else done? Harry and Ron both have saved my life for god's sake! Everyone thinks Ron and I are going to go out, doubt it and even the thought of me going out with Harry is hilarious. Harry for one has his sites set on Cho and Ron is the most dramatized person I know. He gets jealous over stupid stuff or he's bragging about his broom or something I don't know which is worse! Then Harry's all save the world and then some, he's to into being the hero. He doesn't mean to, but he trusts people too much well sometimes. Harry's just Harry let me just say that he's to complicated to really get. He trusts people too much then he doesn't trust people at all. Oh well, there my best friends anyways aren't they? I guess so.

RON WILL YOU STOP LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER I'M NOT WRITING TO KRUM OK!

There, that's better now he'll stop. He's still doing his little arm crossing smug look thing.

Whatever Ron!

I love Transfiguration and all, but -

WILL YOU STOP! HONESTLY CAN'T A GIRL WRITE!

Jeez, Herm. Ron stop let her write.

Thank you, Harry.

What are you writing about?

I'm writing about how annoying you can be Ron!

Sorry, don't get your panties in a twist. Go on write.

I CAN'T IF YOU KEEP WATCHING ME OVER MY SHOULDER

Both of you stop fighting.

Only if you both stop writing on my parchment!

Ok, ok, fine.

What I was saying was that I love Transfiguration and all ,but I hate that Ron and Harry look over my shoulder when once in a while I write things besides notes. I guess their worried if they fall asleep again they won't have any notes for the homework or something. I still don't think Ron and I would make a cute couple not that I would object to dating him or anything. grins Ha Ha, that's funny any ways, awkward silence I need to check out a book I haven't read, I swear I think I've read all the books in the library that are worth reading except for the forbidden area. Nah, I'll just ask Mum and Dad to send me a muggle book that I haven't read. I've heard there's this new series that are rather good I forget what they're called though. Anyways,

RON STOP IT NOW, Harry you ,too. God forbid I'm going to the girls dormitory next time to write something PERSONAL! THAT'S IT I GIVE UP! I'm tearing this up, no better yet, if you read this again you'll be bald.

To anyone who reads this sorry I put the balding curse to anyone who reads it besides myself,

Hermione Granger


End file.
